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Q:
If I am Bringing a Child, What Should I Tell
Him or Her About
Therapy?
A:
You may tell your child, “You are going to be with Glori Gray in a
special play room. There will be many toys there that you may choose
to play with.” If your child wants to know why he/she is going to
the play room, you may say, “When things are difficult for you at
school (or home, etc.), it helps to have a special time and place to
play. You choose to talk or play as you please.”
Q:
What
is Play Therapy?
A: Play Therapy enables children to use
play in much the same way as adults use words in counseling. Talking
is an adult’s natural way of communicating; play is a child’s
natural way of communicating. The Play Therapist provides a safe and
understanding environment with a variety of special toys for the
child to communicate what they cannot say in words. Children may use
puppets, dolls, paints, and other toys to express how they feel and
what they think. When children are able to express their experiences
and emotions, they are able to release the fear, anger, sadness, or
frustration that influences their behaviors. Through Play Therapy,
children are helped to choose more mature and adaptive ways of
handling external and internal stress, thereby developing more
appropriate behavior and positive self-esteem.
Q:
How Do I Know If My Child Needs Play Therapy?
A: Many children experience some type of
difficulty in the course of growing up (at home, at school, with
other children, etc.) or they behave in some way which concerns
their parents or teachers. Some children need more help than others
to overcome these difficulties. In general, if you and/or your
child’s teacher or pediatrician are concerned about your child’s
adjustment or behavior, Play Therapy is the most developmentally
appropriate way to help your child.
Q:
How Do I Help My Child Get Ready For Therapy?
A: Reassure your child that he/she can
express whatever he/she wants to during the time in the play room.
As adults, we can’t always predict what is bothering our children,
so allowing them to choose issues they are ready to resolve
accelerates the therapeutic process. Allow your child to wear
clothing that can be soiled, as the sand and paints can be messy.
Q:
What Do I Do After the Therapy Sessions?
A: Your child may or may not want to talk about what happened in the
session. Allow your child to lead the discussion, and refrain from
asking what your child did or what happened. Instead, listen
carefully to what your child tells you, and let your child know you
understand what he/she said. If your child brings a painting or art
project home, allow your child to tell you about it. You might say
to your child, “You really worked hard on that!” or “You used a lot
of colors.”
Q:
How
do you Know if Your Child Needs Professional Help?
Not all children need therapy. Unfortunately, some do need help.
Knowing how or when to make the decision about getting your child
professional help can be extremely important to your child's overall
welfare. There is less risk by being conservative and getting your
child help too early than waiting for your child's world to crumble.
Maybe the guidelines below will help you make an informed decision.
-
Your child's disturbing behavior persists beyond a month or two.
They
appear angrier, more withdrawn, mouthy, or sad than usual. Some
children not coping well can act out by getting into trouble
with the law or school.
- Your efforts to help your child change their behavior have
repeatedly failed. You may now be feeling more angry and
frustrated because whatever you do does not seem to be working.
- Your
child tells you about sexual or physical abuse.
- You
suspect your child is drinking or abusing drugs. You begin to
see changes in your child's behavior that is common with kids
who are abusing alcohol or drugs. A lack of interest in the
family, a change in friends, a drop in school grades, a
defensive attitude when asked about their behavior and how they
spend their time, dramatic changes in dress, a loss of interest
in social activities, a depressed or agitated mood or old
friends no longer coming by the house are all signs of possible
abuse.
- Your child is no longer interested in doing what he or she once
considered fun. He or she no longer wants to play sports, date,
or hang out with old friends.
This list of reasons for seeking professional help is not
exhaustive. You may notice other behaviors that raise you concern
about your children's adjustment.
Asking for help is sometimes hard because you feel embarrassed about
telling a stranger about your problems. It may seem like an
admission of failure or you may be afraid that you will be told,
"This is all your fault." Either way, trusting someone to help and
not knowing what our children will say can be scary. That is why it
is important to find someone who is qualified and makes you feel
comfortable.
While deciding to get counseling for your son or daughter, the first
thing you will probably do is to ask the children if they want to
talk to someone. This sounds reasonable, but many times they will
say, "No." After all, they are masters of avoidance and the idea of
talking to a complete stranger makes them nervous. No need to
stress--simply explain that this will be their own "special time"
and that the details of what they share will not be told to you,
their parents. They are simply there to learn more about what can
help them to feel better. They do not have to talk, if they don't
want to--it's
their
time. But, just as going to the
doctor is something they are asked to do but sometimes don’t
like—this is something to help them. However, they don’t get any
shots or have to take medicine—a counselor is what some kids like to
call a “Feelings Doctor.”
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